I wish . . .

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.  You are so much more than what you think you are.  You are funny and smart and charming.  You deserve more than her.  If she really loved you, she wouldn't cheat.  I don't believe drinking can be an excuse for anything. There have been plenty of times when I was drunk that I did things I shouldn't, but I knew they were wrong when I did them.  She's cheated on you before, can't you see she isn't right for you?  I'm not saying I am, but you and I both know there is something between us.  I don't know why you think your and asshole, cause your not.  You are one of my favorite people.  I think you want to be an asshole cause then you wouldn't care about her, but you do and I'm so sorry she hurt you! . . . again . . . I know  you have a history, but from what you tell me it doesn't sound like a good one.  I don't know what you and I have been doing all summer, but how much can you really like her when you play with me?  I don't know what I'm doing with you, besides hurting myself, yet I can't stop liking you.  But if you really want to be with her, tell me so and I'll let you guys be.  We can still hang out, but I won't be flirty as hard as that will be for me, I just want you to be happy.  I don't know how I get myself into these messes but they just seem to find me . . .